Thursday, October 22, 2009

Countdown H Minus 9 Days

I've been having way too much fun in Vancouver, including riding on Stanley Park's Ghost Train last night.   And that reminded me that I had a countdown riddle hovering...

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a handful of sheet!

And to keep you pondering til the next time I get to a computer....

Why wouldn't the mummy take a vacation?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Countdown H Minus 12

I figured this would happen.  I'm in Vancouver, with full internet access, and I haven't had the time to keep up the countdown.  I'm sure you're as devastated as I am.  So, the decision is to continue when I can and let you do the math for the day I miss.

Answer to the last riddle:  What's a ghost's favorite kind of pie?

                                           Boo-berry!  Of course!

I'm off to adventure around Granville Island today and meet Miss Lexi for sushi for dinner.  Meanwhile, I shall leave you to ponder today's riddle.

What happens when you goose a ghost?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Countdown H Minus 15

What do you get when you cross a monster with a pig?


Feel free to insert your own H1N1 jokes here.

I'm off to Vancouver tomorrow to spend some time with Miss Lexi and take in a wee bit of the Maiwa Symposium.  We shall see how consistent I can manage to be with my countdown with all of the distractions the Left Coast has to offer!

Meanwhile, today's riddle:  What is a ghosts favorite kind of pie?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Countdown H Minus 16 Days

Who did the ghoul bring to the party?

Any body he could dig up.

Aaaaand today's riddle:  What do you get when you cross a monster with a pig?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Countdown H Minus 17 Days

So, why did the skeleton leave the disco?

Because he had no body to dance with!

Today's riddle:  Who did the ghoul bring to the party?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Coundtdown H Minus 18 Days, Now With 30% More Fibre Content!

Do Zombies eat their popcorn with their fingers?

No. They eat their fingers separately!

And now for some fibre stuff:

There has been much spinning going on around here. The cold weather has given me an excuse to stay home and sit at the wheel. (Well, actually, just about any weather gives me an excuse to stay home and sit behind the wheel...but I digress.) I have been spinning the mountains of Northern Lights into bulky singles, and have only gotten through about 1/3 of that so far--2.6 kg of fibre is a lot more than you'd think it would be when you're spinning it!

I have also been spinning some yummy alpaca/silk/cashmere blend roving that I picked up from Alpaca Plus while I was at Fibre Week. There was a bit of VM in the preparation, but the fibre itself is exquisite and it was an absolute joy to spin. And the bits of chaff popped out in the spinning, anyway!

Mmmmm....look at that! Here are the stats: 85% baby alpaca/15 % silk and cashmere, 300g, 910 yards, 20 wpi and 6 tpi, semi-woolen. The pictures cannot do it justice! Soft and cushy, with a bit of a halo from the cashmere, this is a glorious yarn. I had been spinning it for a Christmas gift, but now that I have it in my hands, I may have to keep it for myself. Mwahahahaha!

I have also been working very hard to avoid my top-secret Halloween project. I finished the prototype and was so frustrated with all of the ridiculous little mistakes that I had made that I had a serious attack of "This too hard for meeeeee!" and set it all aside for about a week. But, stubborn as I am, I sat down last night and took another shot at it. Progress was made and only 2 rounds of tinking occurred, so I'm feeling a little better about it today. I have an evening to myself tonight, so we shall see how things go from here. After all, there are only 18 days til Halloween!

Which brings us to today's riddle: Why did the skeleton leave the disco?

Let's see if I can manage to give you an answer tomorrow!

Countdown H Minus 19 Days

Well isn't this fine and dandy? Maybe today I will remember to hit the "publish" button, since I didn't yesterday. Here is yesterday's post:

How do you calculate the circumference of a Jack-o-Lantern?

Pumpkin pi r squared.

(And anyone with any mathematical background at all will know that that formula is nonsense. Even if you don't remember your high school geometry, you should know that pumpkin pie r round!)

And, riddle number 2: What is a vampire's favorite holiday?


Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Oh, and the next riddle!

Do Zombies eat their popcorn with their fingers?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Countdown Went Down! H Minus 20

Well, so much for that plan!

We have suffered countdown interuptus, courtesy of my ISP. We have been having troubles off and on since July, mostly because of costly infrastructure issues in my condo complex, and everything collapsed again on Friday evening. Hopefully, we have a "final resolution" to the problem this time, but we shall see...

So, back to the countdown: Why do they build fences around graveyards?
Because so many people are dying to get in!
We are one riddle behind now, so we have a bonus riddle today. Yes indeedy, two for the price of one! Think of it as a holiday bonus (it's Thanksgiving here in Canada this weekend!)
How do you calculate the circumference of a Jack-o-Lantern?
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
See you tomorrow. I hope!

Friday, October 09, 2009

Countdown H Minus 22 Days

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

(Nice try, though, Vicki!)
And today's riddle: Why do they build fences around graveyards?

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Countdown H Minus 23 Days

Why was the zombie so grouchy?

Because she woke up too early in the mourning.

I am preparing for Halloween by doing my best grouchy zombie impersonation today! Grrr...aaRGH!

And today's riddle, in keeping with the weather here in Alberta: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Countdown H Minus 24 Days

What do you call serious rocks?

And today's riddle: Why was the zombie so grouchy?
See you tomorrow......

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Countdown H Minus 25 Days and Some Random Rambling, To Boot

What happens when you forget to pay an exorcist?

You get re-possessed!

I wish I had a rim-shot sound effect--you know, ba-dum-dum-CHING!

By the way Repossessed was the name of a bad spoof the The Exorcist that came along in the early '90s, starring the original Child From Hell, Linda Blair and perennial Bad Spoof Star Leslie Neilson.

Just so you don't think I'm spending my days hunting down these comedic gems, here's a bit of an update on what's been going on around here:

This time of year, I tend to get all domestic and feather-your-nesty, settling in for the winter. Now, I know I swore up and down and as loudly as I could to anyone who happened to wander by that I would NOT spend another winter in Fort McMurray, but life has a funny way of derailing even the most stubbornly set agendas. So, here I am, facing another 40 below winter and trying to make the best of it.

Making the best of it for me seems to entail cooking. Much cooking. Last week, there were 2 lasagnas, 3 apple pies, 6 litres of borscht, chicken stock, vegetable stock, and 4 jars of pickled beets. This was on top of 6 skeins of bulky-weight, 2 novelty skeins, the plying of 6 skeins of Merino and two bobbins of alpaca/silk/cashmere singles. Not to mention the mittens I have been knitting, 5 or 6 loads of laundry, the big garden clean-out, and a nasty sinus infection. And don't forget the mounds of paperwork for Fibre Week that have been sorted through and dealt with, plus a newsletter article that was written.

There is a lot to be said about being busy. I sometimes feel like I am "doing nothing" when I spend an entire day sitting at my spinning wheel, making miles of string. I should be doing something "productive" or "worthwhile". I don't "work". So I go out and do the banking, sit on committees, do volunteer work, take on short-term contract jobs, get groceries, and deliver people to where they need to be. I'm one busy lady, as people are always telling me. And what do I have to show for it. A sore knee and a messy house?

Yet, when I'm doing that thing that isn't work--you, know, making string--I wind up with beautiful yarns to make beautiful things that I can sell or give as gifts. I am honing my craft, solving problems, and improving my skills as a spinner and a teacher. I am still busy, and I still have a messy house, but there is something tangible at the end of the day. And in the end, there is actually a greater dollar value on what I have accomplished sitting on my butt than there is on all that running around. I make money with my craft, and I make money teaching. I get to travel and share my knowledge of the craft with others. I have to keep reminding myself that this is my JOB. A dream job, actually, getting to do what I love and getting paid for the privilege.

And, on top of that, when I am at home, "doing nothing", I can be available to my family when they need me. I have time to make lasagna and pies, and still get my actual work done. And I am still more than busy, just not in that rushing-around-from-place-to-place-and-always-stressing-about-the-next-thing way.

Now, I do have the luxury of a partner in life who makes good coin so the bills get paid, and who supports me in what I do. I stay home and do "women's work": raising kids, growing and cooking food, making string into clothing. Unimportant stuff, done, unnoticed by hundreds of millions of women for tens of thousands of years. And the stuff that our very civilizations have been built upon. Without the free labor of women, who have always seen to the insignificant minutiae of life, men would never have had the time to do great things. Like fight wars, invent nuclear weapons, and collapse a world economy.

Okay, I've rationalized my domesticity. I'm good. I know there are those of you out there who need to work, man or woman, and I know there are those of you who love to do what you do. What I want to say is that those same phrases apply to me, and to what I do. I have to remind myself that, even without a regular paycheck and a corner office, what I do is a job and has real value, too. That way, I'll stop doing busy work and start doing my work.

So, back to work. This week's plan includes about 300 cabbage rolls, some Halloween baking, and spinning the rest of that bulky-weight yarn. To start with, anyway. And since I also have some busy work to do, I shall leave you with today's riddle and get on with it:

What do you call serious rocks?

Monday, October 05, 2009

Countdown H Minus 26 Days

Why was Dracula fired from the Blood Bank?

Because he was caught drinking on the job!

Today's riddle: What happens when you forget to pay an exorcist?

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Countdown h Minus 27 Days

What kind of insects are found in graveyards?


You gotta love these! Sadly, though, there appears to be a dearth of fibre-related or sheepy Halloween riddles. I'm still looking....

So, today's riddle:

Why was Dracula fired from the blood bank?

Countdown H Minus 28 Days

Whoops! almost missed this one!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts!

And todays' riddle: What kind of insects do you find in a graveyard?

Friday, October 02, 2009

Countdown H MInus 29 Days

So, how do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!
Today's riddle:
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
See you tomorrow for the answer!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

October, And the Countdown Begins...

Hey! It's October! When did that happen?

We've had a slow, gentle fall up here and the trees are just beginning to turn. It's been fall for ten days now, but around here, we haven't really noticed. I'm still pulling the odd cherry tomato and zuchinni out of my garden, for crying out loud!

And I've been spinning in the sunshine. I had two Merino lamb fleeces that I blended into batts last summer just sitting in the studio and tempting cats to roll in them. It seemed like a good idea to spin them this past month. I sort of thought that the yarn could be used to knit a Christmas gift sweater for Steve, but as I was spinning, I started to realize that lamb fleeces aren't really all that large. So instead of having enough for a men's sweater, I have enough for a vest. Hmmm...

The yarn is a gorgeous pewter grey heather, the resultof blending a white fleece with a colored fleece. For those of you into spinning statistics, it is 3-ply, 4 tpi, and about 9 wpi. Soft and lofty, with a lot of bounce. There are thoughts of overdying in a steel blue dancing through my brain right now, but we shall see. Said brain is not functioning fully these days, due to a head cold.

Said brain is also shifting its focus. It is October, after all. Halloween in only 30 days away.

For those of you who are new to the party, Halloween is a big deal around here. We do a home haunt, throw parties and costumes. We have an extensive collection of props, and we tend to add to it each year. So I always have an eye out for spooky stuff this time of year...

...such as this Graveyard Kit from Shoppers Drug Mart. Everything you need to build a complete graveyard: tombstones, skulls, a rat, and a fistful of Spanish Moss for atmosphere. And what graveyard would be complete without...

...spoooooky striiiiiing!?! Ummmm...okay.

The other bits of the kit are pretty marvelous and will be distributed in the garden and house this afternoon.

Of course, in a crafty house, one can not rely upon store-bought props alone!

This pile of simple materials will be evolving into The Graveyard Guardian over the next few days.

Our home haunt will be scaled back considerably this year because I will be away for a large part of October, but the Guardian will lurk in our garden, keeping evil spirits at bay. At least he will if I can find a cheap-o skull to base his head on....

And for those of you looking to add a little Halloween spirit, or more appropriately, spirits, to your life, the Samhain edition of The Anticraft is up. Many tasty beverages and a couple of beverage-related crafts, all with a creepy flair.

I'm off to shop for fog machines and then put in some work on my top-secret Halloween knitting project. WooOOooOOoo!

Edited to add: In the "spirit" of the season, I have decided to revive an old countdown that I used to use when the kids were little--one Halloween riddle a day until the Big Day. Here goes:

How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern?

Tune in tomorrow for answer!