Wednesday, January 25, 2017


It's been nearly a year since I posted anything on this blog.  Getting back to writing has been a big priority for me lately, but I deliberately waited until today to post.

Today is Bell Let's Talk Day here in Canada. This is a day that happens every year, where the communications media corporation Bell Canada promotes talking about mental health to erase the stigma and promote awareness that mental health effects us all. I chose today to reopen my blog because, simply put, I took the past year away from it for mental health reasons.

A lot of things happened in this last year. Big things. Stressful things. Things about life and family and health and career. And I found myself, for the first time in 55 years, without words.

You could call it a writer's block, I suppose. But it was more than that. There was too much happening, and not enough. I couldn't organize thoughts, I couldn't face deadlines, I couldn't say the thing I needed to say in a way that others would understand. I talked and talked and talked and said absolutely nothing.

I was overwhelmed.

I shut down in a lot of ways.

I found myself in a new community, alone for most of the day, in a great deal of pain, with no one to talk at. I withdrew into my own small space.

Then, in that little, quiet, lonely place, I found peace. I understood that talking and talking and talking...or writing and writing and writing...were not what I needed to do just then. What I needed was silence.

I realized that when I was talking and writing, I was making words and thoughts for others.

So I took some time to listen to the thoughts in my head, the words that were for me.

I took more time to listen to others, too.

Of course, I did not shut down completely. I did not take a vow of silence. I still talked to family and friends. I still wrote articles and essays. I simply slowed the chatter in my mind, curbed the need to let that chatter spill out. I started to think more slowly, to contemplate  my words before I spoke them. Before I wrote them.

And I found a new voice. One that is kinder, one that is stronger.

I am starting to talk again. And I want you to talk, too. So, please, talk. Tell me your stories. Tell me your fears and your anxiety. Tell me what makes you mad and what scares you. I am ready to listen, without fear, without judgement.

I am ready to write.

(I make no promises that I will do so regularly, though!)


  1. I have experienced clinical depression in the past,nrequiring medication to reclaim my life. Last year I felt myself sliding downwards again and started medication again, before it became incapacitating. Shortly after I started medication, my mother was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive cancer, probably ovarian (she died before the biopsy results came back). I am grateful for the chemical assistance to get through the past few months. Good for you to take the time you needed to sort things out. Sending gentle virtual hugs.

  2. Nice to read your post! I was kinda thinking it's been awhile since I read anything from you. :) I've been down that dark road of depression and anxiety myself. I'm in a good space right now and I hope you find the space you need to live in too. :)

  3. What a beautiful holiday!
    Thank you for sharing your journey with the public - a ridiculously intimidating thing to do.
    I hope your inner adventure is going well. Your experience is good encouragement for me to get back to meditation too. When I do, I find my calm ability increase incrementally over time. I miss that.
    Take good care of yourself.
    (A year off is also a great example of self care.)
    ~Sarah Elizabeth