Just When You Think...

Just when you start getting cocky about life going your way, something comes along to f*#@ you up....

My father, who has been winning the battle with stage 4 (incurable) metastatic lung cancer, suffered a major stroke on Tuesday last week. As of this morning, he is holding his own in the University of Alberta Hospital. He is mostly paralyzed on his left side and is frequently groggy and confused, but the biggest threat right now is pneumonia. He cannot swallow and has severe chest congestion from the cancer--and the fact that he continued to smoke heavily right up until last Tuesday morning. We have been told that once he is stabilized, the best we can hope for is palliative care. A rather sad, slow close to an otherwise active and interesting life.

I spent the larger part of last week with my Mom at his bedside. I did get a fair bit of spindling and knitting done, since he sleeps most of the time, but I am wondering how I will feel about the association of his illness with the end project. Right now, there is great comfort in the work, a sense of stability even as things are spiralling out of control around me. Much as I do on any other day, actually!

I have been laying low lately to get my in-depth study done, and it looks like low is a good place to lie for a little while longer.