Excuses, Excuses

"Why hasn't Michelle been blogging?"

"I hope she's okay--do you think she was hit by a bus?"

"Has she been travelling?"

"Maybe she slipped through a wormhole, and is now living in another dimension where there is more time in a day?"

"If so, she should have time to blog..."

Yes, I can hear your thoughts as you ponder yet another drought on this blog.  The truth is that I have been busy.  Doing...stuff.

Stuff like knitting this shawl...

Queen Anne's Lace by MMario KKnits (Ravelry link) out of the yarn that I featured in this post.  Obsessively knitting all 165 rows of the chart, each row different enough to drive a sane woman mad.

Or stuff like knitting this shawl...

Swallowtail by Evelyn Clark.  Made with Kid Seta mohair/silk blend.  For no apparent reason, except to answer a question for a friend. 

Or stuff like spinning and plying 300 g of alpaca/silk/cashmere blend into 970 yards of  sportweight yarn, with another 300 g to go.  Or stuff like spinning three bobbins of singles in BFL/silk blend, worsted weight.  Or stuff like knitting and frogging and knitting and frogging my apparently never-to-be-finished Penelope top. 

Of course, I've been doing all of the usual stuff, too, like cooking, and laundry, and driving a teenager to and from work.  And dealing with the destruction construction crew that is doing the renovations on the outside of our townhouse. And walking the dog and getting the garden ready.  You know, stuff.

Important stuff.

"I think Michelle sounds a little defensive, don't you?"

"Yep, I think she is listing all of these things she has done to hide something else..."

ALL RIGHT! I CONFESS!!

I have been doing all of this stuff, I really have.  But the real reason I have not been blogging is, well, because I have a new love.  Her name is Esmeralda, and I have been spending every spare moment with her...

It's true what they say about riding a bicycle by the way...it's as if I've never stopped, even though I haven't been on a bike for over 20 years.  I had forgotten how free you feel, with the wind in your face and your feet pedalling like mad.   I had forgotten how far you can go under your own steam, and how the world looks from the seat of a bicycle.  I'm just a wee bit enamored of the whole thing right now.

So, I do apologise for not keeping you updated on all of my doings for the past month, but...

Procrastination At Its Finest

So...I've sat down to blog the rest of Spinny Tour 2010 a couple of times, but I appear to have the attention span of a dyslexic bonobo on meth right now.  I am finishing and sending out proposals for 2011 teaching gigs, I am wrapping up Fibre Week work for 2011 and laying groundwork for 2012, I am baking cookies and making gifts for an event that is still 2 weeks away.  In short, I am living in the future in my brain, making it hard to focus in the present.

Today is the day I try and bring myself back to reality.  So far, not working.  I wrote all morning, then, somehow, deleted the whole thing.  Nothing wrong with the post, just gone.  Poof!

I thought I could remedy this situation as my cookies baked this afternoon, but that is not working out for me either.  Can't sit still long enough to see a thought through to the end.  Because the oven timer keeps buzzing, no doubt.  I am sure it has nothing to do with the sugar rush brought on by my enthusiastic sampling. (A good cook ALWAYS tastes everything before feeding it to others.  I'm just  doing my job.)

Still, I feel the need to blog.  So I'm stealing this meme thingy that seems to be making the rounds again amongst many of the blogs I read.  It's supposed to be all revealing and stuff, but really, this is the internetz, people!  I'm not about to go into really creepy detail.  Besides, my Mom reads this blog.

101 Things You May Not Know About Me

1.  I have a really high I.Q.  Like Mensa, creepy nerd high.

2.  I secretly like math.

3.  And I'm pretty good at it.

4.  Ditto physics.

5. Using these two disciplines, I have been working to expand time so that there are enough hours in a day to get everything done and still get a good night's sleep.

6.  I am failing miserably at this task so far.

7.  I am remarkably stubborn and not easily discouraged.

8.  I often fail to recognize a lost cause.  (See #7)

9.  I almost never make snap decisions, even when it looks like I do.

10.  I also believe that decisions have to be made.  Debating your options can only go on so long.  More that two shakes and it's playing with yourself, so to speak.

11.  I have a very juvenile sense of humor.  Talking about shafts and orifices, butts and tips,  or saying puni all make me go tee-hee-hee inside.

12.  I swear a lot when I spin and knit.

13.  I swear more when I weave.

14.  When my kids were little, I tried to teach myself not to swear because I did not want to be a bad influence.  I substituted words that started with the same sound, like sugar, and mother...fathersisterbrother!

15.  Some of those substitutions still slip out today, even though my kids swear more that I do now.

16.  I admire my kids.  A lot.  They are, each in their own way, all remarkable human beings.

17.  I take full credit for the fact that my kids are, each in their own way, all remarkable human beings.

18.  I love being a mom, even though my kids are all adults, or close enough to count.

19.  It's harder being a mom when your kids are all adults, or close enough to count.

20. My children made me who I am today, and I know that is a better person.

21.  I could still be a better person than I am.

22.  I try very hard not to be judgemental, no matter how awful someone seems at first glance.

23.  Having said that, I must confess that a fashion Nazi lives in my head and makes comments about people and their fashion choices.

24.  I like nice clothes.

25.  I chose clothes based on fibre content, comfort, style, and price.  In that order.  (Except for the notorious yellow sweater.)

26.  I am frequently annoyed by how little most knitters and weavers know about string.

27.  I often suspect that Ravelry is a tool for evil.

28.  I often feel the same way about the whole interwebz.

29.  I sometimes long for a simpler time, with no TV, no computers, no cell phones.

30.  I know that I would not adjust well to that lifestyle.

31.  I sometimes turn everything off and light some candles and spin and pretend that I have adjusted to that lifestyle.

32.  I would go crazy without music.

33.  Music today is not any better or worse that it was when I was a teenager.  There was crappy music then and there is crappy music now.  Likewise, there was awesome music then and there is awesome music now.

34.  I like rap.  Not hip-hop.  Rap.

35.  I love opera. 

36.  I miss grunge.

37.  I consider Leonard Cohen a minor deity.

38.  Christmas carols often make me cry.  Not sure why, they just do.

39.  I love Christmas for the lights, the pine trees, the cookies, the knitting, the coziness.

40.  I hate Christmas for the pressure to socialize with people you do not see any other time of the year and the whole "perfect present" syndrome.

41.  I make most of my Christmas gifts.

42.  I will not go into a store or mall on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday in December.

43.  I don't like stores or malls much, anyway.  They are full of stuff that people don't need and usually can't afford.

44.  I suspect a rabid Marxist lurks not far beneath my small-l liberal surface.

45.  I believe in moderation in all things, therefore do not allow any portion of my personality to become rabid. 



47.  I like the path of least resistance.  That doesn't always mean I take it.

48.  I am basically very lazy.  I will spend hours trying to find the easiest way to do something.

49.  I am very patient with others, except for the idiots that always seem to get into the self-checkout line right ahead of me..

50.  I am very impatient with myself.

51  I love to cook.  And I'm pretty good at it.

52.  Baking calms me down and focuses me.  You can tell I've had a bad day if there are suddenly a lot of muffins around.

53.  I don't really like muffins all that much.

54. I do like cupcakes.  Cupcakes make everyday a party!

55.  I think everyday should be a party.  I always find some little thing to celebrate, even if it is just getting through the day alive.

56.  I intend to live to 103.  I do not know why I chose that age, I just did.  It seems like a good age to live to.

57.  I do not intend to ever grow old.  I may, however, become decrepit.

58.  I do not trust modern medicine.

59.  I have had 6 surgeries and 11 broken bones (mostly fingers and toes, 3 of those at Fibre Week!).

60.  I need to have surgery on my knee and probably would have had it by now if I trusted modern medicine.

61.  I don't really trust any institutional system.  It is my humble opinion that they are designed to be non-functional in order to keep the  management busy and employed.

62.  If I ruled the world, systems would be efficient.  I cannot stand waste, duplication and redundancy.

63.  Also, if I ruled the world, the people who do the actual work would get paid more than the management.  Teachers, nurses, and day-care providers would be the most highly-paid professionals on the planet.  Next to plumbers.

64.  I appreciate plumbers more than anyone else on the planet.  I have spent a lot of time with them lately.

65.  I have lost any respect I may have once had for roofers, though, now that I know that they shove their garbage down people's sewer vents.  And that some of them pee there, too.  Ewww!

66.  Witnessing bad parenting makes me sad.  We all have our different styles, but whacking your kid or calling them names in a supermarket is not a style choice.  It is bad parenting.  Actually, it's bad parenting where ever you do it.

67.  I do not believe there is ever an excuse for cruelty.  It is not funny.  It is not taking control.  It is not cool.  Be excellent to one another.

68.  I also do not appreciate holier-than-thouness.  Especially when it is founded in false beliefs and bad information.  I'm looking at you, PETA.

69.  I do not understand reality television.  Why is it entertaining to watch people behave badly because they think it will make them famous?

70.  I do not understand why people think being famous is a reason to behave badly.  I miss positive roll models.

71.  I love clothes, but I hate the way the fashion industry treats women.  Any industry that consistently tells you how inadequate you are to sell you shoddy, overpriced merchandise has got a few issues to work through.

72.  I am a feminist. 

73.  And I think that feminism has failed women.  And feminists.

74.  I believe that the traditional gender-based work that women have done for the last 20,000 years is what has led us to civilization, not the wars, machines and get-rich-quick schemes of our male counterparts.

75.  I tend to get really worked up about this topic.  So much for moderation in all things!

76.  I tend to randomly change topics when things start getting intense.  It is my subtle way of heading off ugliness.  Most people do not consider it subtle.

77.  I like to read, but have only read 1 fiction book in the past 5 years.

78.  I do a crossword puzzle every day.

79.  I prefer to do a cryptic crossword puzzle every day, but the Globe and Mail is so damned expensive!  And hard to find.

80.  I love Mexican food.  Real Mexican food.

81.  I also love Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, and Japanese food.  Asian in general, I suppose.

82.  I could live on nothing but sushi and avocados for the rest of my life.

83.  I would require the occasional medium-rare steak to supplement that diet.  But otherwise, I could do it.

84.  I do not have a favorite color.  I love them all!  (Okay, maybe yellow not so much, but we could still be friends.)

85.  I do not think that It's a Wonderful Life is the greatest Christmas movie ever made.  I try to avoid watching it.

86.  I also do not like the Harry Potter movies.  The books, yes.  The movies, no.

87.  I loooove horror movies.  Even bad ones. 

88.  I enjoy being a woman of a certain age and experience.  I would not go back to 20 again for anything.

89.  Okay, I do miss the knee I had when I was 20. 

90.  I will be 50 in July of 2011.

91.  I intend to celebrate all year long, doing one thing I've always wanted to do each month.

92.  I picked the first thing after a couple of glasses of wine:  January's thing is going to see Cher perform in Vegas.  She is leaving Caesar's Palace after February 5, so this may be my last chance.

93.  I should never do things after a couple of glasses of wine that will cost me $3,000, but I occasionally do.

94. I am still in love with my husband.  He's a nice guy, when he isn't snoring.

95. My life has not been perfect.  I kind of like that.

96.  I am a perfectionist, but I understand that sometimes perfect comes in unexpected forms.

97.  I am grateful for the wonderful people that string has brought into my life.  Some of my best friends are string people.

98. I don't really mind doing the laundry, it just pisses me off that I am the only one who ever does it around here.  C'mon, people!

99.  I used to be afraid of spiders, but now they are my personal totem.  Hey, anybody who spins is okay with me.

100. I have a terrible memory.  I honestly can't remember what I wrote for number 1...

101. ...but I have 8 dozen cookies, 2 pans of squares and a blog post to show for my afternoon! 

Spinny Tour 2010: Part 3, The Faces of SOAR

The best part of any trip for me is the people I meet.  There are always so many wonderful people out there, some of whom pass through my life in a few minutes, some of whom have become life-long friends.  And many of those latter, I have met at fibre gatherings.  SOAR was no exception, so let me introduce you to some of the extraordinary people I met there.

Some of the first souls I met were SOAR veterans Pete and Carol Leonard, who travel each year from Great Britain.  There are quite a few SOAR regulars, all of whom went out of their way to make a newbie like me feel welcome, and soon, I felt quite at home.  So many new faces, and so few photos!

So, who did I get to know?  And who was I clever enough to take pictures of?

There were, of course, the fabulous mentors, some of whom you have already met...

Demetrio Bautista Lazo...

Deb Menz...

Margaret Stove...

and Stephenie Gaustad, here with Jacey Boggs.  (More about Jacey later.)

I spent much of the week with Kathryn Alexander, who posed glamourously for me...

... and who makes remarkable garments from yarn and does unnatural things to fibre with stunning results...

There were my classmates in the workshop, who were all wonderful to hang out with for 18 hours in a dim cavern, doing unnatural things to fibres ourselves...

There were a lot of spinners there, of all levels of experience, and with all sorts of different styles.  We hung out in clumps, under the elk...

and out in the sunshine, when there was some!

I met the lovely Linda Ligon, founder of Interweave press and fairy godmother to scholarship recipients such as myself...

I got to sit at breakfasts, lunches, and dinners beside the mentors, all of whom are fabulous people, discussing the weather and craft and survival with Deanna Dailey, cracking cold weather jokes with Bobbi Daniels (who hails from Alaska).  Sharing lunch with the camera-shy Sara Lamb, Deb Menz, Kathryn Alexander, and Gord Lendrum (yes, that Lendrum).  Eating dinner with Jacey Boggs, who shared with me her secret desire to take this interesting little fibre arts college program that they offer in Canada.  Oddly enough, I knew where there was a US off-campus class being offered by that Canadian college, which turned out to be half-an-hour from Jacey's home.  So, with a little contemplation and a great deal of family juggleing, Ms. Jacey was able to join our little Master Spinner class in Sedalia.  All because she sat beside the wrong woman at dinner one evening!

And I made a new BFF, my roommate Sarah Wilson...

The minute we met, literally in our hotel room doorway, we hit it off.  Sarah is, well, relatively extroverted and has a sneaky, though occasionally lowbrow, sense of humor.  She is also in love with color and texture and string.  And she lives somewhere where she would rather not live.  I cannot imagine why we get along, with so little in common...

And just so you know, Sarah is Miss June in the Spin-Off 2011 calendar.  I was in the presence of a calendar girl!

We sat together at meals, and hung out in the evenings, sharing stories of families and exchanging opinions on yarn and the world in general.  I'm so glad we got "stuck" together.  In fact, Interweave book editor Anne Merrow called us "the best SOAR roomie match since Abby and Denny", whose pairing lives on in infamy.
The notoriety of  Michelle and Sarah was confirmed on the last evening of SOAR, at the Farewell Spin-In.

'Twas the night before Halloween, and there was a costume theme in the air.  While many did not dress up. I had taken my felted Medusa costume, and Sarah had made some preparations, too.  When we showed up together for dinner, there were many questions as to our theme.  Since we didn't have one, and both being naturally inclined to make something up on the spot, we came up with...

Prince Charles and Camilla!  (Maybe you had to be there...it was HILARIOUS at the time!)

On top of that silliness, we plunged headlong, so to speak, into the Batts to Hats challenge at the spin-in.  The challenge was to spin and create a wearable hat in one hour.  We had to provide our own fibre, come up with a plan, and a strategy, then make the hat at the spin-in.  There was some highly un-technical spinning...

...along with some frenzied knitting.  Margaret Stove sat beside us and cheered us on, along with many other fans of speedy spinning.  One spinner even lent me her wheel when mine started snagging the fat, furry yarn I was making!  In the end, we had a hat that looked like a pumpkin, which was awarded Most Organic and Most Seasonal.  Our prize, a 2011 Spin-Off calendar, was given to our champion, whose name I'm pretty sure was Elizabeth, for coming to the rescue with her wheel.

There were others who were into the Halloween spirit of the evening, including Sharon Costello...

...in her felted spider web, and Jeannine Glaves...

as St. Distaff.

There was also a coven of witches across the room....

...and a lovely angel who travelled around the room passing out chocolate! 

It was more fun than should be legal.

Those of you who are spinny types may have noticed that there has been a ridiculous amount of name-dropping in this post.  That is the glory of SOAR.  You get to meet all sorts of people, from brand new spinners, to the high priestesses of our craft like Judith McKenzie and Maggie Casey.  They are all there, mixing an mingling with the common folk.  I also met Sheryl, and Toni, and Annette, and Carol, and so very many others, far too numerous to name one by one.  I have heard that SOAR has lost some of the intimacy it once had, because it has grown so popular, but I was very impressed by the sense of comraderie that existed with almost 300 people coming and going.  People brought their babies, sat next to strangers at meals, and chatted with each other when they met in the ladies room.  There were no barriers, and we were all one tribe for those 6 days and nights.

And then it was over.  The next morning was full of tearful goodbyes, and promises to keep in touch.  And I was off on the second leg of my great adventure...

Innovative New Tool!

Do you face challenges when plying?

Are you tired of your traditional Lazy Kate?

Then why not try the all new Lazy Cat*?  The innovative new plying tool that is guaranteed to make plying nearly impossible and add 3% cat fibre content to every yarn you make?

Not only will the Lazy Cat* slow those bobbins right down and keep your yarn from inconveniently becoming plied, it is a fabulous way to remove the smile from any spinner's face.

And when you are fed up with your Lazy Cat*, it can be removed with only  minimal hissing and scratching.

*Patent Pending

No animals were harmed in the making of this blog entry, though the temptation was there...

Beyonce Stole My Bling!!

In a fit of creative genius, I sat down to spin an art yarn a couple of weeks back.

Inspired by a pack of red sequins, Dorothy's ruby slippers, and the Queen of Hearts...

...BLING! Though I often wrestle with the merits of art yarns, this one is a beauty, spun up strictly for the fun of it. The fibres involved are Ashford Corriedale top and nylon/polyester metallic thread, along with hundreds of little red sequins. A soft thick'n'thin Corriedale single was plied with metallic thread threaded with the sequins, then I plied again with the metallic thread, using an uneven ply and the technique for making "cloud" yarns to create spots of metallic red twist throughout. The end result was a little overplied, but a good hot bath and a hang with a little weight fixed that up nicely.

Oooh, the soft-focus glamour shot! Sexy!

So, as my lovely little bit of glitz was hanging from the knob on the door of my entertainment unit to dry, I was watching the Oscars. Not a bad show, overall, until the tribute to the musical movies of the past. I was about to go fix myself a snack until it was over when this little number caught my eye:

What's that Beyonce is wearing? And why is my sparkly yarn dangling from it?!?

I actually had to glance over to the side of the entertainment unit to make sure the yarn hadn't just crept into the TV. It was till there. I was stunned. How could this be?

It seemed a little strange to me that 50 g of fibre only made 95 yard of yarn. Could someone have snuck in and stolen some for Beyonce's costume? Surely, Teagan the Wonder Schnoodle would have protected the yarn from intruders--or licked the intruders to death--so the theft scenario seems implausible.

Could I be psychically linked with Beyonce? I have been listening to the song "Single Ladies" a lot lately....but no, that seems pretty implausible too.

The only conclusion that I can draw is that Beyonce's spies have been watching me spin this yarn and they told the costume designer about it. It couldn't possibly be just a coincidence. No way!

So from now on, I have to spin with the blinds drawn.

Or stop making such damn sexy yarn!

There's a Fly in My Sombrero!

Things have sort of slowed down around here, but an AWOL camera cable kept me from posting my latest adventures for the last couple of days. Said cable was found in a truly obtuse spot, and we're back in business.

There has been more travel in my life...boy, am I ever getting tired of Highway 63! If someone could just fold the province of Alberta like one of those old Mad Magazine fold-ins and make the 450 kilometers between me and anywhere disappear, my life would get so much easier! Having said that, I was on the road again last weekend. I took a few days to travel to the Red Deer area and attend the annual Wild Rose Fibres Retreat at Pine Lake Christian Camp. And it was well worth the trip!
The lake and the camp are gorgeous, the weather was terrific, and, while there was a shortage of Shiraz (the camp is dry), the coffee was tasty and plentiful.


This year's workshops were on bast fibres and suri alpaca, presented by Chuck Verschagen and Donna Rudd respectively. Lots of great information, and lots of fun playing with fibres that I don't always think to spin with. And in between, there was plenty of good food and lots of great conversation with friends and new friends.


Friday evening was a welcome evening, with snacks and an impromptu spin-in, then Saturday, after a yummy breakfast of quiche, sausages and muffins, we got to work. I had the bast workshop first, and Chuck got right to work demonstrating flax preparation:

Braking...

scutching....

...and hackling flax that he had grown and retted himself. We spent the morning spinning tow flax in a variety of preparations, then after lunch, Chuck showed us how to dress a distaff and spin line.




Though we didn't seem to get the concept of the pointy thing being a distaff cover...

..and we swore they were magicians' hats not dunce caps! After all, we were spinning straw into gold! If that's not magic, I don't know what is!

After a long day of spinning, we all went off to prepare for the Saturday evening banquet, which had a Mexican fiesta theme. Of course there were costumes...

...such as Chuck's muy macho mustachio....

...and Sheepless's equally macho look. Totally el bandito!

I wore a sombrero, which at one point in the evening suddenly produced a fly from underneath it (hence the title of this post--one of the most random and obtuse things I have ever shouted without the influence of alcohol!). There were other sombreros, as well...

...on our lovely hostess, Colleen...

...Kathleen...

...and Mick. Kathy started the evening in a bandanna (no doubt inspired by Chuck)....

...but finished the evening in a handspun turban secured with her maracas pen.

We were well entertained by the Golden Music Makers, who played a variety of music ranging from standards to polkas....

...which led to much dancing in the back. Marijane, Kathleen, Colleen, Jodi, Kathy and I danced up a storm. There are apparently pictures, and even video, but the threat to put them on Teh Internetz appears, so far, to be an idle one. In any event, there was a lot of fun had by the sombrero crew at the back of the room!

Sunday was a day of spinning suri llama and alpaca. We learned a great deal about the animals and the characteristics of their fleeces. Donna is a camelid judge and fibre sorter, and sure knows her stuff! I spent so much time taking notes and making samples that I didn't get a chance to take any pictures. And Donna had some really neat stuff to take pictures of, including her amazing cloaks and hangings featuring woven-in suri locks.

The weekend was fabulous, and the drive home went smoothly, with a stop in Edmonton for supper with Mom and Brendan, then brunch with Lisa the next day. And plenty of time to ponder and become inspired on the long drive. If I live long enough to make all the things that I have dreamed up on the drive to Fort McMurray, I think I will die around the age of 412. And I still will not have used up my stash by then!

So, back to work. I am carding merino batts for Christmas sweaters, spinning cotton for knitting, a sock yarn, and some bison, and knitting a shrug for Julia and yet another of the ever-present socks. No rest for the wicked!

Tired as a Dog

I wish this were me right now...


Asleep. Dreaming. Totally relaxed. If only...

Instead, I'm just tired as a dog. And getting cranky. I need a nap, and it's only 9 a.m. Grrr....

The Usual Suspects

The following is a graphic portrayal of a true crime investigation. Some of the images contained in this blog post may be disturbing to sensitive viewers. Discretion is advised.


At approximately 4:45 on the afternoon of Tuesday, February 5, 2008, unsuspecting fibre artist Michelle Boyd entered her residence. Noticing that things were amiss, she followed a trail of splinters into her home and discovered the victim.

Note the position of the victim, prone, amongst muddy foot prints. No evidence of splinters around the scene, leading investigators to suspect that the actual crime had occurred elsewhere and that the remains had been moved by a suspect or suspects unknown.

An autopsy revealed that the victim had been dismembered before being chewed beyond recognition, as this graphic photo shows.



The whorl was apparently removed, then the victim was rolled around on the floor and chewed upon for sometime. Portions of the victim's body are missing and presumed eaten. Note that the victim's shaft is completely split along its full length. There must have been considerable suffering before the victim's actual demise.


A canvas of the area surrounding the crime scene turned up several suspects, many of whom were already under suspicion for other crimes against fibre.




Miss Molly (good golly!), glamourous and fastidious feline goddess. Miss Molly is known to nest in prepared fibre and to sit upon the laps of spinners and bat at attenuated fibres, breaking fragile singles.

Orlando, international cat of mystery. No one has ever successfully photographed his face. A known spreader and tangler of fibres and notorious chaser of yarn, he is frequently seen napping in the vicinity of the crime scene.

Oliver, local rodent. Known for his propensity to chew wooden objects, Oliver was eliminated as a suspect early in the investigation when his alibi that he was locked in his cage was substantiated. However, statements given by Oliver led to our prime suspect...

Teagan the Wonder Schnoodle. While not commonly associated with crimes against fibre, Teagan has frequently been sighted chewing upon contraband items and was observed sniffing at the scene of the crime. And just look at that guilty face!

Investigators are also investigating this man...

...a known associate of the suspects. The muddy footprints at the crime scene match his shoes, and though he has an airtight alibi, he is the suspected criminal mastermind behind all of the suspect's criminal activities. A patient and supportive patron of the arts, he claimed responsibility for Teagan's activities because he is working an extra gig and not walking her regularly. He has even offered to compensate the victim's surviving kin with another bobbin. Highly suspicious behavior, indeed!

While the death penalty was briefly considered for the guilty party, a return to regular kenneling when human supervision is absent was deemed the most fitting course of action. The fibre artist involved was also reminded that this is why her studio has a door on it, and will ensure that the door is firmly closed in future before leaving her premises.